Bipolar Energy

One of the things I have struggled with ever since my diagnosis is the concept of hope.  I have wondered how people can look past the bad or the negative feelings and emotions so easily.  Over the past year I have been focused on this topic.  I have bought books and lectures on the topic. They all have helped but I still had the feelings of uselessness and hopelessness.  I wanted to feel like I am a useful human being and that I am worth something.  Then I was listening to a religious speaker and he was talking about God.   How God wants to help us and sometimes we just need to allow God the opportunity to make space in us so that the hope and feelings of well being to reside.  Many times we close up and do not allow the higher power or where ever we might look when we are having trouble to make that space in us so we can feel hope and that we are  worth something.   Over the past 6 months I have had a pretty hard time and during these hard t...

During the past week I had a major episode again.  The weird one about this episode it that it was different than the rest of the episodes I have had.   This one different because I am used to them coming on very quick and leaving quickly as well.   Well with the new meds I did not get the blow to the face telling me I am having trouble. What I noticed was that my energy was low.   I was still able to function but I was sleeping more and having a harder time getting up in the morning.   Then today I noticed it was very low but then after lunch it came back up like it always does.   These new meds are causing me to relearn how I deal with the disorder.   It is causing me to rethink some of my coping techniques and relearn how I am doing things.  I have always paid close attention to my energy but now I have to pay even closer a Attention to it.   The meds are doing great but it is just weird how different my body responds to them.  I norm...

The last month has been a interesting one for me.  About a month ago I found out that the meds I was on stopped working.   I was taking them but they lost their effectiveness and no longer was providing any benefit to me. When I was at the hospital they put me on a new med which has been wonderful and gotten rid of many of the problems. That I thought was normal and part of having bipolar.  For once I finally feel like I am normal again.  I still have minor issues and problems. But if is no where near what if   Was like before and is absolutely amazing.  Now I have only been taking if for a month but the results I have been very impressed with and want to thank all of the doctors that have helped me.   I was dealing with so much and had so much pain and now if is gone.   I know it is not all the meds and a lot of therapy and mindfulness.  The best part is with using all of the tools I have received and ready to use each one has made it possib...