Bipolar Energy

A little over a week ago I was reading a article about strength leadership.    This was a very good article and made me think about my situation.    I went to a DBSA meeting a couple of days after reading this article and while I was in the meeting Icould not help but think that the thing I need most is focusing onmy strengths.   I can count how many times I have been positive with myself and can not count how times I habve been negative.   We are all so negative and always looking on the bad side of things.   We all say to oursleves why I can not be like I was in College or High school.    Why I am not like so and so or why I can not get out of bed.   I would like to make a recommendation.   Lets try focusing on our strengths for a week.    When we are thinking negative we need to change that to one of our srengths.    We need to have list our strenghts and when ...

Over the past several days and week the paranoia has gone up and down.    Over the past several days it has been increasingly worse.   My first thoughts is my meds are off or i need to talk to my docotr.   If I tell my docotr that I am having issues this will result in several weekly meeting on adjusting the meds and trying to get them back in line.   I personally feel this would do more harm than good.   I am not opposed to adjusting my meds but there is something i have learned about the disease is that events and episodes are going to come and go.     The best thing I caan do when these extreme valleys or peaks come is to hold on and enjoy the ride as much as I can.    For me the ride is short and does not last very long but for some of you it might be long and a differnt technique i probably more useful.    So as I am riding this wave  and getting the hell beat out of me and...

Over the past couple weeks as I have been going in and out of smaller episodes and trying to learn how to deal with the meds and the cycles.   One of the things that I have reading about is how we view ourselves.   One of the things that I have learned over the past 12 years of knowlingly having this disorder.   My view of myself has gone down hill.    I have viewed myself as sick and not capable of doing anything right.   I have viewed myself as disabled and not being to fulfill my roles in society or what I would like to accomplish as person.   I have felt like a failure and like my life is about to get worse and there is nothing I can do to stop it from happening.   That the disorder was going to eat me alive and that it was going to ruin my life as a whole.    Then I started to take control and try to learn how to live with the disorder and not make the disorder my whole focal point. ...