Hope

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One of the things I have struggled with ever since my diagnosis is the concept of hope.  I have wondered how people can look past the bad or the negative feelings and emotions so easily.  Over the past year I have been focused on this topic.  I have bought books and lectures on the topic. They all have helped but I still had the feelings of uselessness and hopelessness.  I wanted to feel like I am a useful human being and that I am worth something.  Then I was listening to a religious speaker and he was talking about God.   How God wants to help us and sometimes we just need to allow God the opportunity to make space in us so that the hope and feelings of well being to reside.  Many times we close up and do not allow the higher power or where ever we might look when we are having trouble to make that space in us so we can feel hope and that we are  worth something.   Over the past 6 months I have had a pretty hard time and during these hard times I have tried to remember to allow the space to be there so that I can feel that peace.  It is not easy but the pay out is well worth it and I can not imagine trying to make it through without it.   I do not have perfect picture of hope but the truth of the story it is a lot better than what I had before and would not change it for anything.

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